I've discovered the element that has kept me from feeling (& if I'm honest with myself, it has kept me from being) successful in my current line of work.
It has also prevented me from being motivated to work toward the career I want to be in.
I've been missing the element of 'why' I do what I do. There's been no reason behind my efforts, other than 'I need to earn money'.
And yes, I do need to earn money, but it's not something I find motivating for me to make significant effort to do an awesome job. There needs to be reason 'why' that resonates with my personal values.
Why do I want to be a writer/philosopher/adventurer? Other than to have freedom from 9-5? Other than wanting to work independently? Other than not wanting to feel suffocated by an employer?
I clearly know why i don't want what I have now... But what is my motivation for my dream?
I want to do what I want to do because I want to contribute to freeing humankind from the factory mentality we have caused ourselves to develop. I want to encourage and celebrate creativity, diversity, and our own individual uniqueness. I want to bring back (reinvigorate) the time when 'the artist' was revered as genius.
'why'? Because there is a genius in each of us...
Monday, April 23, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
Vulnerability
'All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.'
They are invisible to us, yet the homeless are still there.
We walk past them on street corners, and step over them in crowds, yet we don't see them.
Our emotions are numbed to their desperation, and we no longer want to hear their story, but they won't go away.
The homeless represent to us our greatest fears. We avoid looking at them, so we don't have to face the very real truth of life, which is that we are all vulnerable. We all face the possibility of complete helplessness. We are all at risk of losing everything. And we are all brothers and we cannot deal with the depths of someone else's 'failure'.
But we have too.
By facing our own greatest fears we help each other to overcome them. When we feel the depth of our own pain, we release it, and can help another face his.
When we see ourselves as part of the collective humankind, we take responsibility for the whole, and understand that even the smallest of gestures to help one person less fortunate than ourselves, we have an enormous impact on the world.
They are invisible to us, yet the homeless are still there.
We walk past them on street corners, and step over them in crowds, yet we don't see them.
Our emotions are numbed to their desperation, and we no longer want to hear their story, but they won't go away.
The homeless represent to us our greatest fears. We avoid looking at them, so we don't have to face the very real truth of life, which is that we are all vulnerable. We all face the possibility of complete helplessness. We are all at risk of losing everything. And we are all brothers and we cannot deal with the depths of someone else's 'failure'.
But we have too.
By facing our own greatest fears we help each other to overcome them. When we feel the depth of our own pain, we release it, and can help another face his.
When we see ourselves as part of the collective humankind, we take responsibility for the whole, and understand that even the smallest of gestures to help one person less fortunate than ourselves, we have an enormous impact on the world.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
What am I doing?
I've been having that thought way too often this year...
And the answer never comes easy because it is full of frustration, and pain, and fear.
I don't want to be doing this anymore, and now I'm committed again, going madly around and around.
And again I think to myself, what is worse the pain of my everyday feelings of letting myself down and not living the life I want. Or the pain of fear being realized?? Now I assess and live in the pain of inaction and it's horrific - much worse than the pain of doing something about it.
I can't keep doing this... It's killing me.
And the answer never comes easy because it is full of frustration, and pain, and fear.
I don't want to be doing this anymore, and now I'm committed again, going madly around and around.
And again I think to myself, what is worse the pain of my everyday feelings of letting myself down and not living the life I want. Or the pain of fear being realized?? Now I assess and live in the pain of inaction and it's horrific - much worse than the pain of doing something about it.
I can't keep doing this... It's killing me.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
And the answer is given
It's quite amazing how you pose a dilemma and by some work of the universe you are given an answer.
The blog of Chris Guillebeau ( www.chrisguillebeau.com - still haven't determined how to add links in this app...) poetically addressed the exact issue I've been dealing with: income vs outgoings.
In his '34 things I've learnt about life and adventure' post, he says to focus energy on increasing income, not to become frugal, because otherwise it will cultivate a poverty mentality - and you know what, that's exactly what I've developed....
Time to readjust my position, think abundance and generate income by pursuing my dreams. I can, I have to, and I will.
The blog of Chris Guillebeau ( www.chrisguillebeau.com - still haven't determined how to add links in this app...) poetically addressed the exact issue I've been dealing with: income vs outgoings.
In his '34 things I've learnt about life and adventure' post, he says to focus energy on increasing income, not to become frugal, because otherwise it will cultivate a poverty mentality - and you know what, that's exactly what I've developed....
Time to readjust my position, think abundance and generate income by pursuing my dreams. I can, I have to, and I will.
Monday, April 9, 2012
when distracted by a hard decision
we are at serious risk of losing the roof over our head. So we are at a point of having to make a really hard decision - do we stay and risk losing everything, or do we move, and risk losing focus on the things that are really important to us.
I guess when it comes down to it, we need to make a decision that leads us towards our best long term solution, and movement toward our ultimate goal of overseas travel, and financial freedom. and financial freedom means taking control of our debt, taking responsibility for our debt, and focusing on paying it off as soon as possible.
There are 2 ways to do this, reduce our outgoings, and increase our incomings.
I find reducing our outgoings the easy part. I struggle with increasing out incomings, because I have never had to really deal with it before...
so i'm distracted by putting energy into earning more money instead of working on my long term career goals to give me the freedom I want to travel the world. I need to work on finding the balance to achieve both during this time of confusion, so that i achieve all the really important things in my life.
I guess when it comes down to it, we need to make a decision that leads us towards our best long term solution, and movement toward our ultimate goal of overseas travel, and financial freedom. and financial freedom means taking control of our debt, taking responsibility for our debt, and focusing on paying it off as soon as possible.
There are 2 ways to do this, reduce our outgoings, and increase our incomings.
I find reducing our outgoings the easy part. I struggle with increasing out incomings, because I have never had to really deal with it before...
so i'm distracted by putting energy into earning more money instead of working on my long term career goals to give me the freedom I want to travel the world. I need to work on finding the balance to achieve both during this time of confusion, so that i achieve all the really important things in my life.
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