self-reliance realised...

I have to be honest.  Unfortunately, I've found the actual writing part of the Trust30, 30 day writing challenge kinda tedious.

Hence why I haven't kept up with it...

I think it is a good idea in concept - but for me it is just going over (&over) things I already know, and have already become conscious of.

Reading Emerson, has definitely been insightful, and I enjoy his writing flow, but the suggested exercises, have left me a little uninspired. I kinda feel like I shouldn't be spending my time writing answered to their questions, but instead forging my own path, thinking for myself. 

So, this where I leave the Trust30 challenge - none the worse off for having attempted participation, but much better off for utilising the time for something that inspires me more.

Irrational or just plain crazy?

What is one thing you have always wanted to accomplish, but have always been afraid to pursue?

this writing challenge had me stumped, and procrastinating, and I think there are a number of reasons why...

If I sit down and begin to write all the 'crazy' things that I want to accomplish in my life, not only will I be overwhelmed by the 'impossibility' of it all, but I'll begin crying for the lost years of my life in which I could have already spent doing them if I knew that I was actually able to complete everyone of them if I applied myself.

I guess all is not lost, even though my aspirations go as grand as winning an Academy Award (no I haven't even done acting courses yet), and as small as writing and editing my own quarterly magazine, there is still time to acheive at least one of these fabulous goals every year until I die (some years I may have to do a few more, and sell the incredibly successful businesses I have created in the previous year) - nothing is impossible...

But narrowing it all down to one goal for this year? - a fear in itself, but absolutely necessary to focus my energy in the right place without distractions - my crazy goal for this year is to get our business to a point of positive cash flow, and to increase it's online sales to $500 a week.
There - I've said it, and it's public.

The obstacles in my way are potentially  all just in my head - as I'm only limited by my self doubt. But realistically - I haven't put much thought into the obstacles.

Some are completely just out of my control: people are saving more money than ever, and others are easy enough to work through: the lack of correct SEO on our online store...

But I have a starting point - I've actually got a crazy plan and aspiration to focus on - I've chosen one, the most important one, and the goal that I have to greatest opportunity to achieve this year.

Preparation to live - or the last days to come alive

A 'funny' terminology - 'preparing to live' - I had to read it twice until I understood.

Where in my life am I preparing to live? I was a little surprised to discover, that I'm 'preparing' in almost every part of my life.

I work most of my waking hours in a uninspiring day job, to earn money so that I can pay off debts, save money, and put it into our business. In slow and 'responsible' preparation for making it big, and eventually making enough to pay myself a salary, and quit 'uninspiring day job'.

I do have a responsibility to earn a steady income - so a means to overcome this dilemma, and make progress in living my life now: draw up a clear and achievable plan for earning an independent income through our business, and focus on this as the number one priority for the next 6 months - cash flow, cash flow, cash flow (and I mean in, not out...) This will improve my present situation by giving me the opportunity to work and focus on our business as the 'most' important thing in my life, and I'll instantly be able to 'work' as the creative and inspiring person that I want to be.

In conjunction with all this is my strong desire to travel, and using the saving, business, etc as a preparation for being able to afford to move overseas, and/or travel as much as I'd like to travel. Right now I could change this feeling of longing for something better, by actually beginning to really plan and begin to work out all that would be involved with moving overseas.

Really, so much would have to be done before we could logistically move, and now is really the time to create the lists of all that will need to be done, and begin to gather all the necessary information, documentation, quotations, and locations for our move. This would inspire me so much to follow through with all our plans, and work smart towards fulfilling this dream.

And lastly, my health. I'm constantly working on getting my body not to hurt in my injury prone painful joints, that I'm just preparing for a time when I feel 100% so that I can exercise as much as I want to. I think it's time to just exercise as much as I want to, and find the exercise methods that will keep me interested, having fun through the pain, and keeping it diverse and entertaining, so I don't get bored and give up.

Right now, I can include different things in my life - even if it begins as just an hour a week - it's more than what I make time for now. I have to keep a list of things that are different for me to do, and mix it up every week, because even though I tell myself, 'I want to work in a job that allows me to sleep till 7, and go for a run along the beach every morning' - I know that it would last maybe 2-3 weeks, and I'd be bored, and thinking of excuses not to do it everyday, until I lose all interest.

A lot to work on - now focus is needed to complete the said lists, and plans (uninspiring job is good for one thing), and begin action plan - keyword 'action'...

to Travel, or not to Travel, that is the question

From a very young age, I made a pact with myself that I would see every country in the world before I died. It was on my 'bucket' list...

I now see myself as having potentially already lived half of my life, and I'm not even close to having seen 5% of the world yet.

Would I settle for just seeing a little bit more? I'm not so sure I can honestly answer that question, now that I'm older, have watched a lot more news and current affairs shows that build fear in my mind about the risks of travelling to unfamiliar countries. The fear has become disillusionment at my original desire to know and understand all cultures, and experience how all societies live, so that I can see the true reality of our world.

But still, I want to see that, and know that, and feel that essence of the life of the world in me.

I want to see every country in the world...

The next step for me now is to determine how I could possibly do that, as the harsh reality of how far away Australia is from almost every part of the world, and how expensive that makes overseas travel.

But reality aside, I want to see the beauty of.... (at least 20 answers run through my mind in a confusion of trying to name just one) India, the Himalaya's, the Amazon River, more of Mexico, New York at Christmas, Paris in spring time, Japan during Cherry Blossom season, Amsterdam, Peru, Nepal, New Orleans, Africa, the Eskimos, Mongolia, Spain, Turkey, and my list will go on for as long as I have a map in front of me...

Now to the real question of today's writing challenge - What will I do to make sure I get there???

It's time to stop the confusion, and start the action of at least planning a list of exactly what I might want to do in my top 10 countries, then I can start researching what will be plausible in the next 12 months.

A starting point of first steps is what is needed to begin the journey that may take me the rest of my life to complete - will keep you posted :)