I think because when I watch the successes of legends at such a young age (read: younger than me), I feel the dreaded oppression of 'I've done nothing of any significance in my life.'
Of course, it takes a million 'normal people' to make a legend, but I always thought i'd be a huge success.
And I'm not.
Some people might look at the past 16 of my life (since I left the education system) and think I've achieved a lot, or that I've had it really good. But when I compare where I am, to where I wanted to be, I'm so down-hearted - because I feel old & very soon to be out of time.
I'm going to leave it at that. Because I need to let this soak in & settle.
The pain of this is too raw...
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