just nod in my direction

I give you permission to do whatever it is that will set your heart on fire!

Not that you need my permission - and that is my point...

I know myself that I have from a very young age sought somebody's permission before I did anything that wasn't in the 'guide book', because I didn't want to get into trouble, or be a 'naughty girl'. This has had a massive impact on my life, because I have been controlled by my 'need' to conform to rules, policies, procedures, laws - a perfect citizen who will not challenge the 'powers that be'.

From a very young age we are taught to conform - school, church on Sunday, sports teams, etc. Institutionalization is such a fundamental part of our society, that it isn't questioned - it is just assumed that it is the way it has always been, so it must be what is best for us.

If you haven't read Seth Godin's Linchpin, then you must, as it is a point he discusses with great influence as to our responsibility to now step up and challenge this status quo.

I have begun to feel with such passion as to how much this resonates with me, and it has been the fire up my rear that has finally started me working on the things that I really want.

What I want and nobody else, because it's my responsibility to create for myself a life that brings me joy, and nobody but myself can give me permission to do so.

And this applies to you too...

from up here the world looks bright

I have a special gift.

It is the same 'gift' that many of the population have, yes maybe even you, but I choose to call it a 'gift' whilst many others wouldn't.

It has also on many occasions gone by the names of: 'indecision', 'procrastination', 'always changing my mind', 'never making up my mind', and 'going out of my mind'.

How can I possibly consider this a gift??? Well, because it also has the ability to transform into: 'options',  'multiple streams of income', 'efficient multi-tasking', and 'doing all the things I love'.


Which is where I stand today - not with all of those things in place, but with the knowledge that my gift is transforming, and that I'm working toward having the ability to have space in my life to do all of the many things that I love to do - and hopefully make money doing them.

Say that again?

I realise that it isn't the first time I've written about 5 minutes a day to change your life, yes yesterday I did repeat myself somewhat, and have therefore learnt a valuable lesson in keeping track of my blog topics...
It has led me to question though, if I read this lesson before, why did it have no actual impact the first time, or what was different this time?
Also I question, how many times do we have to hear, or read potential life changing information before it actually changes our life? For me, this particular lesson took me twice for it to have impact - plus my constant reminding myself daily... But so many other books I have read that should have had a significant change, but nothing... Other than the anxiety caused by still feeling like I'm just not capable of change &/or success.
I think perhaps this time it has more to do with the fact that I've just had enough. Enough of doing the same old job everyday, and getting nowhere. I've made another fundamental error of changing jobs again, but going back to doing the same thing I've done before, thinking this time it will be different. But it's not, it never will be until I choose another way completely.

A new day

This morning I woke with a new sense of purpose. Earth Hour last night gave me the opportunity to spend 60 minutes reading instead of numbing my mind in front of the tv.

Thanks to Hugh Macleod & his latest book 'Evil Plans' I really feel the inspiration to be who I am and begin to forge a path for myself. I have no quotes, just my interpretation of the first part of his book (available on Kindle only in Australia, until June) which has me committed to creating the change I so desperately need - 5 minutes a day working on our dreams is more effective than 2 hours one day a week. And this is so true, because it will keep my dream practiced and continually refined and improved if I just spend a little bit of time everyday working toward significant change in my career. 

So now, this is my first attempt at instigating the change. Talking to you in my real voice, taking a photo of my real life, and not only telling you, but showing you from my soul what I want to do. 

I have deep inside me the desire to be a writer, and a photographer, but not in the path of others. I have no training, I have no subject of intense passion to discuss, just me and my philosophy.

There are things that I'm good at, which is always what I am led to believe must be my path. And there is what I have always done, the jobs I've fallen into, by choice, and by force of circumstance - the need to earn cash...

But still the burning desire to do more - which must be clearly differentiated from the status quo notion of the desire to have more. I have  fundamentally all that I could ever need to have, I am being all that I'll fundamentally need to be, but I do not do all that I want to do, the position of which is dominated by fear.

So I wish to make it easier for me to do all that I wish to do, by focusing on a minuscule amount of time a day to change my behavior, and build a dream with regular effort, knowing that it is all in pursuit of the greater motivation.

My commitment to myself, as I don't think anyone even reads this blog yet, is to take one photo every day, and to write a minimum of 100 words a day - just 5 minutes of my time...

A new day

the march of indecision

the basis of all of it, is that I want to have fun

my ultimate life fantasy. to just have fun.

now to define that: to do something everyday that doesn't feel like work. to have fun, to explore, to learn, to greet, to engage.

to do something grand and significant, yet in the shadows. to contribute selflessly, without responsibility.

a life lived with passion - for living

presence

the reality of which is choice. our choice to live this way despite the 'un-reality' of our situation. perhaps if I just connect, perhaps if I just hold it, then the outside will change to fit my inside.

such freedom desired - to do what i want everyday, not what I have to...

who bloody taught me to just get a friggen job - that that is the only way to get ahead - to strive for  more, to work harder, to do your best to impress - but who gives a damn about what i want to do everyday.

only me. the challenge to create work that doesn't feel like a job.

back to the same old story, the same dilemma, that what I wish to do doesn't look like what everyone else views as what is possibly an income generating time filler.

but who really cares what the status quo thinks