the march of indecision

the basis of all of it, is that I want to have fun

my ultimate life fantasy. to just have fun.

now to define that: to do something everyday that doesn't feel like work. to have fun, to explore, to learn, to greet, to engage.

to do something grand and significant, yet in the shadows. to contribute selflessly, without responsibility.

a life lived with passion - for living

presence

the reality of which is choice. our choice to live this way despite the 'un-reality' of our situation. perhaps if I just connect, perhaps if I just hold it, then the outside will change to fit my inside.

such freedom desired - to do what i want everyday, not what I have to...

who bloody taught me to just get a friggen job - that that is the only way to get ahead - to strive for  more, to work harder, to do your best to impress - but who gives a damn about what i want to do everyday.

only me. the challenge to create work that doesn't feel like a job.

back to the same old story, the same dilemma, that what I wish to do doesn't look like what everyone else views as what is possibly an income generating time filler.

but who really cares what the status quo thinks