Face Off

At my age, and with my experience & positive disposition, I hadn't thought that I would become overwhelmed with physical symptoms of stress related illness. Now, that sounds a little bit official & medical - and I hate the connotations that go along with the word 'stress'.

In all honesty, me trying so hard to 'save face' and not show or express how things have affected me, or more likely, me unconsciously shutting down my emotions in the moment, has built up an explosive anxiety and pressure inside.

I can admit that I have felt like a pressure cooker the past few weeks. And now it's compounded by my work situation. A job I care so little about, but still am so affected by, because it acts as a constant reminder of my failure in my more entrepreneurial pursuits...

But I'm writing this for self awareness, not for analysis, & I'm not going to admit defeat. I still have a purpose that is greater than what I do now, and I still have dreams that I must take seriously.

The work that I have left to do, is not just for other people, but for me. I need to put my life & the daily goings on into perspective.