turn left at anytime with care

why is it that the threat of success scares us as much as our fear of failure? And if we were honest with ourselves - which one scares us the most?

Of course, our natural, in denial, response would be that we have no fear of success - aren't we working our butts off to try to be successful?

But still something always holds you back from really getting there. Maybe your life would change so dramatically, that you wouldn't recognize it. All that success would mean responsibility. And the simple fact that you would have to follow through, again & again & again.

But wouldn't it be so much more fun to be working hard with the thrill of success, than working hard with the fear of success...

ebony and ivory

after what is typically a religious weekend, having spent no time at all on dogmatic beliefs, I'm prompted to reflect on my childhood religious education, and the effect it has had on my adult life.

most significantly a 'heaven and hell' belief system has me challenged, on a frequent basis, to not see the world in 'good or evil', 'black or white'.

There really isn't anything in this world (and I'm sure many people would challenge this) that is all of one or the other.

Our personal perceptions will always thwart our opinions, but we will never know the truth about the motivations behind someone's actions - so everything in reality is shades of grey.

For myself, it is also about how I view my own performance - cataloguing myself into total failure or complete success. Being my harshest critic, and my greatest support at the same time...

So really, this motivates me to try to find balance in how I perceive things. Also, to double check my expectations, of myself & others.

We are after all, only human.

you're number one

there is one thing in the world that you are the best in your field at.

It is your area of expertise, you have the greatest amount of knowledge in it, and no body can compete with you.

Know that today, now, you can take this knowledge and excel. Today, you can use this information to bring happiness and fulfillment into your life.

There will never be any need to concern yourself with competition, or to compare how good you are at this one thing with other people.

Your greatest talent is to be yourself. To aspire to you. To have pride in the perfectly imperfect person that you are.

Now that I have this knowledge, I am always, for eternity, going to be the best in the world at being myself. I can face every challenge with an inner strength and belief in my place and my ultimate purpose in this world.

keep on keeping on

sometimes we have to accept that failure is always a possibility.

having had a couple of 'blue days' this week, overwhelmed by a sense of failure for where I am in life. I realise that it is not me that is the failure, just that the methods that I have been using to do things does not work as I intended, or had hoped; or that the decision I made was just badly chosen.

but there are always other methods. what I do have is the capacity to keep going.

sometimes I do wish that someone could just feed me the answers to the questions that life presents, but then I guess I wouldn't learn anything from my mistakes.

I've always held in high regard that I am a 'virgo', astrologically a 'perfectionist', but this is a major curse in my aged eyes, because it doesn't allow me the space to fail and recover. To have such grand delusions of one-self is not always a bad thing - it could give confidence and undying self belief, but currently it offers me a struggle of not being good enough to impress myself.

so ego bruises, as self expectations are not met, and the realisation that as my harshest judge, I am holding myself back from achieving what I am able to achieve. mindfully this awareness can help to loosen up my ego, and draw me closer to valuing most the experiences that I have, not my critical perception of the outcomes...

something more positive is on the horizon

internal combustion

today I'm motivated to question what it is inside human nature that causes us to have self destructive tendencies.

To see someone make such huge improvements in their life, but then at the first opportunity risk destroying it all by doing something stupid. Especially when that something stupid is so easily preventible, and it takes very little effort to do the right thing.

In witnessing someone else's behaviour, and in seeing the effect it has, not just potentially in their career, but in their emotional and mental state as they come to terms with their 'stupidity', it leads me to reflect on how I might have similar tendencies in my life, and try to determine where I might need to pay attention to self-destructive motivations.

It may not be obvious in your own life but all humans have this within them, preventing us from operating at our highest capabilities. If the reward for developing greater awareness is having less self-initiated 'breakdowns', then its worth the time invested.

the boogie man

always, when seemingly most sure as to what I am most passionate to pursue, in the new morning, fear disguised as every or any negative feeling my demon can imaginatively create - jealousy, anger, frustration, boredom, confusion, self-doubt - comes charging to the forefront of my psyche to 'scare' me into retreat, to put me back in my box, to seal the lid and keep me locked up in my struggle forever.

The fear has kept me from really achieving anything I've wanted in my life - it's grip is strong, it's strength grounded in an overactive mind, constantly creating distractions, delusions, distress - anything that will keep me from putting energy into what I really need/want to be focusing on.

But, awareness and self-knowledge is 80% of the solution to beating the fear, and after spending the whole day feeling no determination, instead anxiety & self-hatred, more than ever I must focus on pushing through this barrier.

Fear breaks down all passion for our dreams. It is fear that squashes our hope. But by realising that fear will always be there, unchanging whether we pursue our goals or not, ALWAYS there in happiness or despair, we can then make a choice.

Do you experience fear in a fulfilled, exciting life, or feel fear in a compromised life? Anyone who has an excuse for never pursuing their dreams has settled for the latter.

bulldozers & pig-heads

With an awakened determination I found my inspiration to action.

The horrific thought of being in this same place in another year, or even six months, has lit a fire up my rear like I've never felt before.

I cannot take the same excuses from myself anymore. I cannot keep wasting time doing nothing. I cannot accept this mediocre existence. I have plans for my life, and I'm not putting them off anymore.

It is my number one priority to change my life this year, and to make significant headway in getting closer to what I really want to do in my life.

I am determined like I've never felt determined before, and I will make it happen. Passion envelopes me. I must narrow my focus to putting energy into what really matters, and let the rest pass by.

Focused energy, passion, determination.

rubber plant genes

Things won't always work out the way you want them to.

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it is the truth.

there are infinite variables in life that we have no control over, we can hope and dream about an outcome - but not actually be able to, with certainty, determine how it will all turn out.

the best we are able to do is focus where there are things we can control - like our own behaviour, mental attitude, and physical effort.

unfortunately however, no matter how much we are nice to someone, or we try good naturedly to influence their decisions or get them on our side - not everybody will like you. and even all amounts of effort to build something, or develop something, or put your idea out there - sometimes it just won't work. Our dreams may just not be our destiny in the way we originally think they are.

the key to survival in this world, is to build flexibility into our plans. Have a dream, but base it on the feelings, emotions, lifestyle you may want - not on specific ways of getting there. If we hold too tightly onto the methods of achieving our goals, then we set ourselves up for disappointment, and potentially for a feeling of failure that could make us want to quit.

If you relish the infinite opportunities that are available to you on your way to greatness, then you'll bounce back with greater ease when things don't go your way.

spagetti shoelaces

Humans have such a propensity for complicating things that don't need to be complicated.

We spend hours, days, weeks, months, researching, reading, 'Google-ing' the best method to do the things we really want to be doing - but it's so much easier than that. Instead of using our valuable time to find out the theory behind the practise - why not just practise? and practise, and practise - that could in fact give you the edge over the educated.

Discovering our own best ways to do things, by making mistakes, by having successes, will give us something more valuable than anything you can learn online - it's gives you experience, life experience.

Why do we spend so much time trying to avoid making errors, by trying to learn everything first? and essentially complicating some of the potentially easiest things in life.

Now I'm not completely against preparation, or education - but I do believe that these things need to be in proportion to practising the desired skill/knowledge/dream. Without action, learning is simply unapplied knowledge - apply it immediately, whilst learning and your skills will develop at a much faster pace than those who spend time in endless 'preparation for a day when' they will apply the newly acquired skills.

where there's a will...

Inspiration to action. Is it the missing ingredient in your seven herbs and spices?

Perhaps, despite the desire for change, life is still comfortable. You get a pay check every month, bills are paid, you only have to be at work until 5 or 6 every night, then you get to go home and 'relax'. Your husband or wife is there to greet you, there's little pressure, weekends are free to be bored and do housework, no one expects much, because things are comfortable.

But still that feeling is there, at the back of your thoughts, just quietly knawing away, letting you know that things aren't okay, you won't be able to fake satisfaction for your whole life.

Or will you?

When will you feel the inspiration to action? To be so inspired you'll willingly change your whole life in the search for genuine happiness and fulfillment.

Funny enough you don't have to wait for a major life changing event to get your call to action. Inspire it in yourself.

hitting a bulls-eye

Part of becoming a good salesperson is recognizing that every person that walks in the door is an opportunity. An opportunity to win a customer, make a sale, and earn a commission.

But really, this philosophy can be applied to all parts of life. Every moment is an opportunity to do something different, make a change, take a chance, and do that thing you've always wanted to do...

Putting it into perspective, you can watch another 10, 20, 30 minutes of mind numbing tv, or you can take that time to begin putting your dreams down on paper, and creating a plan for your future.

What I'm really trying to say is that it isn't as hard, or as unattainable as we might think. The silly thing is that it is in fact as easy as simply deciding to do it, then just taking the required steps until its done. The only thing holding you back is you. Nothing else - just you.

The opportunity is yours to take... always.

not recommended for use as a life preserver

Another wake up call today, in the form of an email from the universe.

Why do we put so much time and energy everyday working ourselves into the ground for someone else? And really just barely making it through each day - because I'm definitely not getting ahead despite the hard work, focus, and endless amount of anxiety that goes into the long hours.

If I put the same amount of energy and focus into creating the life that I want now - how could I not be successful? Or get ahead at such an incredible pace that I'll be sooo much happier?

Yes there is failure, a potential risk in everything we do though. And I won't be any worse off than I am now.

(thank you to Mike Dooley and the team at TUT for helping inspire people, and me, regularly)

stoic???

A case of misinterpretation, or just total lack of self awareness - such was the challenging 'case' I had in front of me today. What was one person's perception of an event, so greatly differed from the other's.

Does everybody see themselves in such a skewed perception, or just a random few who seem to have a total skewed view of all things in their lives?

Whether it's an exaggerated self-criticism, or over inflated ego, there are so many ways in which we can see ourselves, but who is right? The perceiver, or the perceived?

This dilema highlights what I believe is at the bottom of many issues in life - is it more important to focus on trying to control/influence what others think of us, or pay more attention to changing what we think of ourselves?

which comes first?

this has nothing to do with chickens or eggs, but instead is about the age old problem (or procrastinating method) of determining where our priorities lie.

the hardest thing I find is that there are so many things to consider: impending deadlines, personal v's professional, what will make the greatest change for my future, what requires the most amount of work, and of course, the job that is in front of me right now screaming to be done - to name just a few...

so really, how can we filter through all the expectations in our lives, and just focus on what really matters right now? there are obvious things - a crying baby for instance - but I'm talking more about making a change in our lives to follow our passion, when we still have the obligations of a 'day job' workload, bills to pay, family to feed, businesses to run, and paperwork to do...

it would be ideal to have money to pay someone else to do most of that stuff - but the reality is that it isn't always possible to do that, for so many of us. So how do you overcome a long to-do list, expectations, and obligations, without losing your mind, and succumbing to giving up your dreams in favour of 'just getting by'?

I wish I could give you a definite answer, but until I had tried it myself, I'd just be telling you what someone else has told me worked for them. I just try not to let my demons rule my choices, and try to fit a bit of what will truly make me happy into every day. I don't want to just survive - I want to live, but unfortunately I have days where I'm fighting against a rising tide of things that have to be done by yesterday.

I know there is always the option that is encouraged by many of the success gurus - who have done it themselves, and lived to tell the tale - to walk away from the things that are preventing you from following your dreams, to prioritise this before anything else - at the risk of bankruptcy, hunger, homelessness, and ostracism - so very much to lose & very very scary.

but a very very exciting prospect that keeps many of us awake at night as we dream of doing just that

KNOCK KNOCK

who's there?

Opportunity.

Opportunity who?

WRONG ANSWER!

... throw that door open!

grab Opportunity by the hand, and pull him to you in a passionate embrace like he is your long lost love.

Don't let go until you are satisfied that you have shown Opportunity all the love, energy, and passion you have to reveal!

As fleeting as love is, Opportunity may not come knocking again, and you must make the most of his unexpected & unplanned visit to show him that he has come to the right place.

Don't let Opportunity pass, as this is the most important moment in your life.

& life rolls on

Humans have a huge amount of tenacity to 'roll with the punches' and just continue on with life, despite what we might have been through.

But how many times do we duck, weave, roll, & take one square, before we have had enough and choose to play a different game? Our tolerance levels are self-deprecatingly high, and we think it is our duty to put up with nonsense, it's just life right?

I think its time to demand and expect more from life. There are options, you don't need to continue a soul-destroying existence. We just need to believe we deserve more, and that more is worth fighting for.

in the bright light of day

Regret is a painfully uncomfortable feeling, and hindsight an important lesson to learn.

Sometimes it is after the event, when retelling it, that we're able to identify our mistakes. Shame, confusion, guilt are all commonly a result.

I could ponder my mistake and be upset for days, but I need to swallow my pride, brush off my bad feelings, and get on with it. I'm learning my lessons the hard way, and repeatedly in such a short amount of time, making the pain more oppressive, and my thoughts of shame difficult to deal with.

It's time for me to bring more self-awareness into my interactions with others, and for me to hold my tongue, and think before I speak. Hopefully with practice I can become conscious of how I may be perceived by others, and have more control over the impression I leave.

the designer or the artist

today I had a little bit of an awakening. If that is even possible.

Perhaps it was in fact bigger than a little bit, because the physical feeling it actualised, was significant in comparison to that description.

What is it exactly that makes us minimize crucial moments in our internal life? Is it our fear of admitting we have been affected by something others will consider as completely insignificant. Or more honestly, it is the fear of admitting we were affected by something, which then means we have to do something about it.

This is definitely what it is for me.

be like water

Bruce Lee wasn't just a skilled martial artist, & film maker, he was also a master of eastern spirituality.

I find it quite poignant that such a talented fighter coined the phrase 'be like water', which is as much a contradiction for a fighter, as it is absolute genius. To fight in an essence of peace.

For where I'm at it is an important reminder, to release the constant feeling of struggle against what I don't want, relax, go with the flow & focus on what I do want to create in my life - & of course, leave the rest up to the universe.

And, I've never heard of impatient water, have you?

A virtue?

Patience.

Or just unrelenting belief, is something I really need at the moment.

Funny, but I remember as a kid, when having to describe myself in a school assignment, the word 'patient' would almost always be there, alongside 'kind', 'trustworthy', and 'friendly'. But I think it was one of the things that I just wanted to be, because quite frankly 'patience' is not one of my virtues.

I'm impatient with other's stupidity, hate it when people are late, and just want it to be the end of the day or week so that I can go home and do something, anything, other than my job.

I'm also extremely impatient with life. I want to do so much more, but am waiting to be given the opportunity, and am waiting for muse to give me incredible life changing inspiration.

I know my personality type has a desire to feel extremes, so I expect so much more than what I feel everyday. But perhaps this is it.

I need to be patient, and have belief in the tiny snowballing changes I'm able to create every day.

no pain, no gain

this belief is so ingrained in our psyche that the fear of said 'pain' prevents us from doing anything at all to get the 'gain'

that's how it feels for me anyway.

what would be worse though - the feeling of pain, potentially balanced significantly by the 'gain', and the feeling of actually doing something to move toward the dream life.  or the continuous feeling of living in hopelessness, that nothing ever changes and that I am a failure...

this pain of failure I feel now is repeated through lofty goals, dreams, and hopes that are never realised because I don't put in the daily effort to deliver... or perhaps I'm just focusing on wanting the 'wrong', distant gain, when I need to focus on the small gain that I can get more frequently from just working slowly and surely toward the lifestyle I dream of.

so many colours

Having too many options can be so overwhelming. Just as the opposite is true also - wanting more options, wanting to be able to do everything - just as overwhelming, and just as much a stalling tactic...

Procrastination comes in so many forms, in fact it comes in every single form that stops you from doing what you want to do right now this very minute. If you are using the excuse that you can't make up your mind what you want to do, then toss a coin and suck it up. There's you choice for right now, now go and do it.

Not tomorrow, because you're too tired.

Not later because your favorite tv show is about to start - now.

Do it now for just 10 minutes, you will feel so much better for having taken a moment for you.

Time for me to take my own advice...

I didn't do it

Why do the young never take responsibility for their actions?

Actually there is a huge number of people who don't want to take responsibility, regardless of age or station - and the reason I say this is because if they did then they wouldn't be in the unhappy positions they currently are in.

As a manager of people, I have many many many examples of how easily people find it to never take responsibility, initiative, or really anything that requires them to think for themselves. Reason being, because it is so much easier for them to have someone - anyone - tell them what to do, therefore, if they get it wrong, it is someone else's fault.

But who is really to blame? We could whinge and complain about the fabric of society and how if we step outside the box our boss, teacher, parent, partner would 'reprimand' us. We fear that people would think badly of us if we challenge or question what is accepted as norm.

I think that we have a responsibility to challenge, question, and avoid status quo thinking. This is where we can have the fastest growth, the most amazing success, and life time of fulfillment that we never imagined we could have.

(Sorry to my readers, I've been having trouble with my email posting, and only just realised that the past few days of entries haven't been published)